Why hello my dumplings, those who haven't been friended, and maybe, perhaps, those who have.

Fanfiction Posts-, Not friends-locked. Open to all readers.

Personal Posts-, These are sometimes friends locked (excessively angsty posts, introspection, especially personal posts etc. will be friends-locked!). If you comment in this post, I'll happily friend you, but if you friend me without commenting I'll go ahead and take the liberty of believing you don't wish for a friending back.

For the fanfiction, it ranges from fandom to fandom, in alphabetical order-- in each fandom areas the stories are ordered from newest to oldest.

Multi-chaptered fics, Clayman, Some Strike Slowly but the Death is Quick, and Quick to Blame, But Not to Forgiveness all are linked to their FF.net versions for various reasons (length, tediousness, etc.). They might eventually be posted here on livejournal if I'm feeling orderly.

( Shesayslove's Fanfiction Master List )

Title: What You Leave Left
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Characters/Pairings: Maru/Ueda
Summary: 'Maybe' isn't so far away from a 'yes'.
Notes: I am going to write a long fic about Maru and Ueda going to Okinawa together, but for now, this is a short drabble. <3 Ueda does not seem to want to go to Hawaii, but Maru does and there is lots of talk of him taking Massu instead. Ueda keeps being infuriating and saying 'I'll think about it' and 'maybe' to everything that Maru suggests but it turns out that Ueda actually wants to just go to Okinawa.~ So they say that they will! But who knows? They do silly things like vacationing together all-the-time, though.

( and all the things you have-- they aren't the same, as what you hold )

Title: Half in Huizhou
Fandom: original work
Summary: A heart. (Half of my body is mine, half of my body is yours. All of my heart is yours.)
Notes: This is like my heart. <3 I think that, even though the theme of 'one half completes the other' is unoriginal-- maybe even the plot, in some ways-- that in the end that doesn't matter, because sometimes what's between the characters is more up-standing than what they translate to in action. I worry, 'is this a plot that has already been done before', although it was only at the end where I realized that I don't know if it's been done, but that doesn't matter half as much as I think it does. Here it is, which is the most important part. This has been posted to an alternate account of mine for months now (I used that account like four times, I wanted it to become my main account, but this one, I think, will always be mine, at the heart of it), but I don't know why I never posted it here, before now, really. ;_; <3

( et muss sein )

Title: A Growing Pain
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters/Pairings: Jon/Laurie, implied Laurie/Dan
Summary: Do not fall just to see if you can fly. (Climbing back down from the top of the world. Never falter in your faltering-- continuing in your pain is the most important thing that you can do.)
Notes: I am on an utter writer's block, so this is just one of those fics of trying to get-out-of-it, but I have always wanted to write this, so it is a bit of a dream-fic, too. <3

( i find it just a little hard, i find it all so hard, i find it all so hard, i find it all so hard, i find it  )

Title: Do Neither Wait Nor Linger
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters/Pairings: Daniel/Rorschach; implied Laurie/Daniel
Summary: We right ourselves.
Notes: Written from a long, long, long time ago when I first watched Watchmen, except I never posted it. :O

( well that's a big heart you have there, and I've got a great big head (so empty inside; before my thoughts of you) )

Title: Tulips
Fandom: Malice Mizer
Characters/Pairings: Gackt/Mana
Summary: Baby, right now you've got it, all.
Notes: Written all in one sweet, short sitting. At first it came out as wanting to be endless lines of prose, which you see, throughout. But usually plots come out, lately, or at least conflicts, resolutions. Dedicated to pseudosky.~ Now I am giving my baby away to youuu. Mostly, written honestly, openly, and that openness, now, is for you. <3 Happy very belated birthday! 

( a modern lazarus )

Title: Lustre
Fandom: X-Men
Characters/Pairings: Emma/Scott; Emma/Logan; Colossus/Angel; Magneto/Pietro
Summary: And your brilliance.
Notes: The Mohs scale is a system measuring organic substances for levels of sharpness-- diamond being the highest at a total of one-thousand six-hundred points (there are ten basic levels, diamond is ten, topaz is eight, etc. etc.). Adamantine lustre is a term for the luster of a diamond: it is non-metallic, brilliant light with reflectory characteristics. Cementite is a form of higher steel that can be made one of two ways: created in lower temperatures, or with higher levels of carbon. Carbon is the common element found in any organic substance.

( the world doesn't seem so bad )

Title: Folie a deux
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters/Pairings: Silk Spectre/Mothman, Dollar Bill/Mothman, Hooded Justice/Captain Metropolis (implied)
Summary: Forget who you loved, but not that you loved. (Theory initializes that one will rather become insane than see death. Like yawns, these things spread.)
Notes: I do not even know. Sometimes my writing turns into garbled messes of mindfuck rather than anything substantial and worth-while, but I do hope that, at the very least, I've gotten this out of my system and the mindfuck will be so awe-inspiring that it might just distract one from the lack of decent writing beyond that. I think that I am pretty certain that I winced more than once will adding curse-words into my fic. I am somewhat torn between 'foul language makes a point' and 'foul language shows that you cannot express yourself decently without it; a throw-away statement of throw-aways; and hence that you might be running out of words' which is horrifying as a writer. I am nothing if not pretty words; oh-where-oh where did they go today? Or perhaps yesterday? Hopefully, beyond that, this is somewhat, vaguely decent. <3

Also btw Liz I am working on your birthday post! ;_; LJ claimed that it was May 15th so I felt guilty about it being late but then Sara informed me today that it is actually earlier than that? Is that right? And now I feel so much guiltier! :[ I'm so sorry! ILU!

Also: bits of the poem scattered at the tops of each new section is 'The Psychoed' by Hughes Mearns.~~~~

( but it fell through; like all of you, like all of you )

Title: Get Dressed Up So Beautiful
Fandom: xxxHolic
Characters/Pairings: Doumeki/Watanuki, primarily
Summary: You're wearing nothing but your clothes! (Watanuki; Doumeki; the scattered life in between or of dreams and in the seconds without a face.)
Notes: I wrote this about two weeks ago, now, but I felt it needed to be posted regardless, even if, initially, I did not like it much at all. It's finished, which means if I had some vague compulsion strong enough to do that, then it must be worth something. I believe that.

( if your right hand is causing you pain; cut it off, cut it off )

Title: Secret Swingers
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters/Pairings: I don't even know.
Summary: And the rest is history. (It is when they are halfway through the second-course of lobster that Hooded Justice realizes ‛oh God, we are dating‛.) Leave behind your monogamy, we don‛t want it here anymore. The art of double-dating.
Notes: I-- just, what. Don't ask me. Try not to cry. It is poorly written and entirely disturbing, and I think I blame underdebate, who asked for Dollar Bill/Mothman and Hooded Justice/Captain Metropolis double-dating except I think I...mutated something so cute and beautiful into something ugly and WRONG. But isn't that just what I usually do? I don't even know.

( be the stone around my neck )

Title: Leaving You With Flowers
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters/Pairings: Hooded Justice/Captain Metropolis
Summary: I hope, that this is enough.
Notes: Yet still sad. For soda_and_capes, who said 'HJ GIVING NELLY FLOWERS' which is an unbelievably cute prompt. -lovefests- Why do I seem to think that the Minutemen totally had a phone-number sharing-session? BECAUSE THEY DID, that's why.

( and there was a time before we were born, where we stood in the garden )

Title: And All Your Armour Turned To Lace
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters/Pairings: Silhouette/Silk Spectre
Summary: the thin parts of a girl.
Notes: This -needed- to come out of me so badly that I am now up, at eleven-thirty pm on a school night and oh damn, oh damn, oh damn.

( who will write love songs for you? )

Title: Backwards As A Lover's Waltz
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters/Pairings: Hooded Justice/Captain Metropolis; (implied) Sally/Eddie
Summary: Do not long for longing, there is nothing else after it. (Work it backwards; it will be alright.)
Notes: For underdebate, who encouraged me to stay up until one AM last night, despite my better judgement, and inspired me to do so-- and because, you are a fabulous stranger. <3

( the lovers are rising )

Title: All the Brave Young Men
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters/Pairings: The Comedian/nite Owl I; (some) Hooded Justice/Captain Metropolis; (some) Dollar Bill/Mothman; (some) nite Owl I/Silk Spectre I; (some) The Comedian/Silk Spectre I
Summary: Roll yourself in revolution.
Notes: Lately, I've been unable to write in any style except for the strange, depressing, mindfuck-y mechanical sort of way. Very choppy. Very strange. Please don't be alarmed. @.@

(  so let me judge your love affair in this very room where I have sentenced mine to death )

As for Bleach manga:

Did you hear that Matsumoto lost her left side in an accident?

She's all right now.

...hah.

Also: My life is sort of weird. I didn't feel good so Sara wheeled me all the way out of my room into the kitchen where I sat eating KFC in my computer-chair as she cooked a cheesecake. Then I wasted (in a wonderful effort in futility) five full minutes of my life writing 'Manly Cake' onto the pink cake I made via lines of sprinkles.

My school had TAKS testing today, and instead of having the tests in our regular English classrooms, all the students were split up according to alphabetical order-- there are a lot of Vietnamese students at my school, and through that I've learned that 'Ngo' and 'Nguyen' are basically the Vietnamese equivalents of 'Smith' and 'Johnson', at least according to their frequency. That's to say, with my last name starting with an 'Ne--', I was in a room almost entirely made up of Asians. And they are all completely unrelated and they all shared one of the two names. It's a little disturbing.

My day ended in me being sadly dragged into a very large, very confusing game of 'Killer' and 'Musical Spoons' playing with a deck of Domo cards by a group of Asians, most of which I do not even know. I only knew Grace and Jennifer #1, who both spent a long time dragging me into it. And we all played 'Killer', the group of like...fourteen of us, a game in which one person has an Ace in their hand and they try to 'kill' people by winking at another player whilst the other players try to guess who the killer is. The problem was?

NONE OF US COULD WINK. So it was all very strange and very flabbergasting, all of us entirely stoic people in general giving these dilapidated winks at each other.

SO. FABULOUS. Oh my.

Also I am making apple coffee-cake. Right now. It's in the oven. -excited- Coffee cake is so marvelous.

OMG. I love emo-boy model-esque pretty-pretty doe-eyed Nightcrawler in Wolverine and the X-Men. Him and his fabulous homosexual tendencies combined. I've been watching really homoerotic comic-cartoons all last night and today being sick and what-not (I was so sick last night that I was crying, oh goodness D:), and it's made me realize why people have been complaining since the 1930s about superheroes and their fantastic tight-tights that are 'influencing the children of America to have subconscious sexual tendencies'.

Apparently it was a big fear throughout parents in the 1930s that their children would have boy-crushes on Batman. And become influenced to live the 'same path as Batman' and believe that 'Batman's ways of living (homoeroticism, sleeping in the same beds as a child one third of your age, living without any female romantic interest what-so-ever, frequent bemusing interest in a man three times your age without any feeling of paternalism, and of course, wearing dressing-gowns) would make children believe that they were the norm'. I find it interesting that so many people seem to believe or even outright encourage (though mostly it's with a 'I guess it's unavoidable to think so, what with that Robin and all' opinion) that Batman is gay or at least ambiguosly homoerotic. Actors laugh about vaguely sexual poses they've had to do when playing Batman and Robin. Reviews of Batman call Joker and Batman 'the Homosexual Nightmare' and many of the comic-writers admit that it's a reasonable idea.

I don't know why I know all of this, or why I spent hours researching this all, but I do find it all very intriguing. And all of this happens and Cartoon Network still shrugs it's shoulders and plays the episodes where Batman enfolds Dick Grayson into his arms and such. And that makes me incredibly happy, you know.

But besides that, Nightcrawler in X-Men is totally fabulous. I'll just pretend that the movies don't exist, at least not the ones with him in it, and just watch ignorantly Wolverine and the X-Men on TV. In which Nightcrawler has an emo-boy hair-cut and speaks, like, fan-boy German (and really the only German thing he says is 'UND' instead of 'and' which both bothers me incredibly so and makes me want to giggle), and has an angsty German!past and makes Wolverine travel, like, hundreds of miles across oceans to rescue him and comfort him and they constantly touch each other and glare at Kitty whenever she touches them.

Also I watched an episode of Batman where Robin got infected with fear!spores and had panic attacks a lot and couldn't fight or do anything except for cry and whine and Batman held him.

Title: Counting Down By You
Fandom: Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion
Characters/Pairings: Lelouch/Kaguya; implied Lelouch/Rolo; implied Lelouch/Nunnally
Summary: Grieving silently and surely. (You don‛t even have to die. Making a lasting impression without a face.)
Notes: The majority of written this morning, finished just now.

( never been a big fan of things; but I'm growing so fond of you )

Title: I Remember You
Fandom: Dhampir series, by Barb and J.C. Hendee (books III and IV, with a little bit of book II mentioned)
Characters/Pairings: Chane/Wynn
Summary: He could forget her while she was right in front of him.
Notes: Written all of last night and this morning. I love them so much. <3

( I have begun to long for you; I who have no need; and I still feel you when you breathe )