i never even asked for light

I love you because I know no other way

Title: I love you because I know no other way
Fandom: Original Works
Summary: You think if you could just love them like this, forever, you could live without them ever loving you back.
Notes: Sometimes I will read things that really convince me of what the feeling of true love is. I have read, actually, quite a few of this lately, and in a moment they hit me and I wrote and wrote and wrote, and I think that this is one of the best things that I have ever written. To the J-Pop idols who make lovesongs that we all remember and sing to ourselves sometimes, when we are alone (and maybe, when we are with somebody), and who are probably really only writing them for the homosexual band-members who they love. <3 And to the writers, who make me believe, and who make me feel. And to midnight panic attacks, and to the prose that you cannot forget, and to clever photo-shooters who put the 'A' and the 'K' of KAT-TUN together naked in thin whitesheets of a bed covered in sunlight and tell them to put on their best bedroom-faces, and to everyone on my f-list who makes me remember and believe and feel just as much as everything else, more than everything else, and more than anything. This is my feelings about love, these are what I believe in. This is my fast heartbeat and my achy heart and my curling fingertips and my soft smile when I think of how love feels. This is what I think I will one day understand. This is how I feel about love, all put into words and ready to read, and I really hope that you will. <3 This is my feelings about love. Pablo Neruda wrote the title, one of my most favorite lines of poetry ever. This is really heavily inspired by the fics that convince me of what the feeling of true love is, recently: This --, this --, this --, this --, this --, this --, this -, this --, and this , and many others.

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little heart

mairzy doats and dozey doats and little lamsey divey

To everyone who celebrates, happy Christmas (belatedly, LIKE MY LIFE)! I honestly would have made this post earlier, except I somehow kept lying down to rest for a few moments and waking up to fibnd myself in an entirely different day! I hope that all of you had a magnificent Christmas--, I myself woke up at two-thirty AM only to speak with errata_sonata which was a lovely way to start odff my day, and then I opened presents of things like CRIMINAL MINDS and SPENCER REID SWEATERS and LACY BLOOMERS. *0* Hopefully yours' was as good and better than mine was!

For Liz:

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a little bit deadlier

What You Leave Left (ficlet; Maruda)

Title: What You Leave Left
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Characters/Pairings: Maru/Ueda
Summary: 'Maybe' isn't so far away from a 'yes'.
Notes: I am going to write a long fic about Maru and Ueda going to Okinawa together, but for now, this is a short drabble. <3 Ueda does not seem to want to go to Hawaii, but Maru does and there is lots of talk of him taking Massu instead. Ueda keeps being infuriating and saying 'I'll think about it' and 'maybe' to everything that Maru suggests but it turns out that Ueda actually wants to just go to Okinawa.~ So they say that they will! But who knows? They do silly things like vacationing together all-the-time, though.

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i never even asked for light

Half in Huizhou (original work; writing)

Title: Half in Huizhou
Fandom: original work
Summary: A heart. (Half of my body is mine, half of my body is yours. All of my heart is yours.)
Notes: This is like my heart. <3 I think that, even though the theme of 'one half completes the other' is unoriginal-- maybe even the plot, in some ways-- that in the end that doesn't matter, because sometimes what's between the characters is more up-standing than what they translate to in action. I worry, 'is this a plot that has already been done before', although it was only at the end where I realized that I don't know if it's been done, but that doesn't matter half as much as I think it does. Here it is, which is the most important part. This has been posted to an alternate account of mine for months now (I used that account like four times, I wanted it to become my main account, but this one, I think, will always be mine, at the heart of it), but I don't know why I never posted it here, before now, really. ;_; <3

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a stronger world to die in

A Growing Pain (fic; Doctor Manhattan/Laurie)

Title: A Growing Pain
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters/Pairings: Jon/Laurie, implied Laurie/Dan
Summary: Do not fall just to see if you can fly. (Climbing back down from the top of the world. Never falter in your faltering-- continuing in your pain is the most important thing that you can do.)
Notes: I am on an utter writer's block, so this is just one of those fics of trying to get-out-of-it, but I have always wanted to write this, so it is a bit of a dream-fic, too. <3

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and so tired of drawing breath

Lustre (X-Men; five drabbles on heart-ache)

Title: Lustre
Fandom: X-Men
Characters/Pairings: Emma/Scott; Emma/Logan; Colossus/Angel; Magneto/Pietro
Summary: And your brilliance.
Notes: The Mohs scale is a system measuring organic substances for levels of sharpness-- diamond being the highest at a total of one-thousand six-hundred points (there are ten basic levels, diamond is ten, topaz is eight, etc. etc.). Adamantine lustre is a term for the luster of a diamond: it is non-metallic, brilliant light with reflectory characteristics. Cementite is a form of higher steel that can be made one of two ways: created in lower temperatures, or with higher levels of carbon. Carbon is the common element found in any organic substance.

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i never even asked for light

Folie a deux (fic; Watchmen; Silk Spectre/Mothman)

Title: Folie a deux
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters/Pairings: Silk Spectre/Mothman, Dollar Bill/Mothman, Hooded Justice/Captain Metropolis (implied)
Summary: Forget who you loved, but not that you loved. (Theory initializes that one will rather become insane than see death. Like yawns, these things spread.)
Notes: I do not even know. Sometimes my writing turns into garbled messes of mindfuck rather than anything substantial and worth-while, but I do hope that, at the very least, I've gotten this out of my system and the mindfuck will be so awe-inspiring that it might just distract one from the lack of decent writing beyond that. I think that I am pretty certain that I winced more than once will adding curse-words into my fic. I am somewhat torn between 'foul language makes a point' and 'foul language shows that you cannot express yourself decently without it; a throw-away statement of throw-aways; and hence that you might be running out of words' which is horrifying as a writer. I am nothing if not pretty words; oh-where-oh where did they go today? Or perhaps yesterday? Hopefully, beyond that, this is somewhat, vaguely decent. <3

Also btw Liz I am working on your birthday post! ;_; LJ claimed that it was May 15th so I felt guilty about it being late but then Sara informed me today that it is actually earlier than that? Is that right? And now I feel so much guiltier! :[ I'm so sorry! ILU!

Also: bits of the poem scattered at the tops of each new section is 'The Psychoed' by Hughes Mearns.~~~~

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i never even asked for light

Get Dressed Up So Beautiful (fic; xxxHolic; Doumeki/Watanuki)

Title: Get Dressed Up So Beautiful
Fandom: xxxHolic
Characters/Pairings: Doumeki/Watanuki, primarily
Summary: You're wearing nothing but your clothes! (Watanuki; Doumeki; the scattered life in between or of dreams and in the seconds without a face.)
Notes: I wrote this about two weeks ago, now, but I felt it needed to be posted regardless, even if, initially, I did not like it much at all. It's finished, which means if I had some vague compulsion strong enough to do that, then it must be worth something. I believe that.

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Secret Swingers (fic; Watchmen; Hooded Justice/Captain Metropolis/Dollar Bill/Mothman)

Title: Secret Swingers
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters/Pairings: I don't even know.
Summary: And the rest is history. (It is when they are halfway through the second-course of lobster that Hooded Justice realizes ‛oh God, we are dating‛.) Leave behind your monogamy, we don‛t want it here anymore. The art of double-dating.
Notes: I-- just, what. Don't ask me. Try not to cry. It is poorly written and entirely disturbing, and I think I blame underdebate, who asked for Dollar Bill/Mothman and Hooded Justice/Captain Metropolis double-dating except I think I...mutated something so cute and beautiful into something ugly and WRONG. But isn't that just what I usually do? I don't even know.

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